Once a day of boredom occurred when a lady of elderly baked a man of gingerbread dressed fine.
Hearing a noise of racket she opened the oven door for he said clear “Open the door you old bag I am not to eat.”
She said wait wait Gingerbread Man I want to eat you up quick.
Looking cruel he said I think not bitch you and nobody else is going to eat me up quick.
Screaming and singing loud he said run run old bitch as fast as you can you ain’t eating me up I’m the Gingerbread Man.
Running fast still little legs pumping fast he ran into a duck of drooling hunger saying stop stop little Gingerbread Man I want to eat you whole.
Face looking mean as hell little Gingerbread Man said with a cruel thrust of parry fuck you applehead bitch you ain’t eating me and the old bitch ain’t eating me either and ran away fast quick I’m the Gingerbread Man.
Running faster he flew as the wind until he met a cow of lazy chewing cud and looking at him wrong as hell with lips twised a drool telling him to stop she wanted to eat him bite by delicious bite.
Face averted to hide his face whipped around quick with snarl of threat and said you long titty bitch I am not for you to eat or for the appleheaded bitch or the old bitch who baked me and you can eat shit and die because you ain’t eating shit I’m the Gingerbread Man.
Smiling he ran faster faster and ran into a horse with two big teeth of overhang snapping saying I want to eat you up and crush you into crumbs of ambrosia sweet.
Looking over his shoulder he said fuck you I am not for you to break up in crumbs of ambrosia sweet and be ate by the likes of your broke down mule face ass and I’m saying this now you ain’t eating me or the appleheaded bitch or the old bitch that baked me and you can grind the shit out of your ass and eat it because I’m the Gingerbread Man.
Laughing uproariously he ran faster faster faster until he ran into a sly hunting fox of shining teeth and personable ways who said stop stop I just want to converse with you brother brother.
Still smiling happy mean Gingerbread Man ran ran ran singing with high soprano you can’t eat me I’m fast swift stupid I ain’t for eating I am survival of the fittest I’m the Gingerbread Man.
Running with him the sly hunting fox who said I don’t want to eat you up snap by snap I just want to help you help you and said let me help you cross the river to safety.
Gingerbread Man not being slow of wit looked behind him and said ok and jumped on the sly hunting fox’s back and peered with nonchalance and rode his back as a ship sail and looked at him through cunning slits and leaped to safety and told him quick you think your ass is smart don’t you but I’m not to be ate by your weasel face ass or the broke down mule face ass or the applehead bitch or the old bitch that baked me live and learn I got this down even though I was just baked today.
Fuck you! I am the best already and I say Non Sequiter and flipped the third to life and lived best.
By
Felicia McCaw
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