Author - Anonymous bequeathed to Felicia McCaw to be published for my Aunt Daisy Jackson and gifted to myself her daughter and love and light in her eye.
Shadows of heartbreak follow behind
Shadows of sadness lurk in my mind
Shadows of grief hide deep and within
Shadows of dreams tossed to the wind
**********
I live alone
It hasn't always been that way
It's nice sometimes to open up the heart a little
and let some hurt come in
It proves you're still alive
I'm not sure what it means
Why we cannot shake the old loves from our minds
It must be that we build on memory and make them more than what they were
And make them more than what they were
And is the manufacture just a safe device for closing up the wall?
I do remember
the only fuzzy circumstance is sometimes where-and-how
Why, I know
It happens just because we need to want and to be wanted too
When love is here or gone
To lie down in the darkness and listen to the warm
****************
I should not dare to leave my friend
Because if he should die
While I was gone and I too late
Should reach the Heart that wanted me
If I should disappoint the eyes
That hunted so to see
And could not bear to shut until
They noticed me
If I should stab the patient faith
So sure I’ld come
It listening went to sleep
Telling my tardy name
My heart would wish it broke before
Since breaking then
Were useless as next morning’s sun
Where midnight frosts had lain
****************
Try and Catch the Wind
In the chilly hours and minutes of uncertainty
I want to be in the warm of your loving mind
To feel you all around me and to take your hand along the sand
Oh but I may as well try and catch the wind
When sunshine hails the skies
I want to hide awhile behind your smile
And everywhere I’ld look your eyes I’ld find
For me to love you now would be the sweetest thing
Would make me sing
Oh but I may as well try and catch the wind
When rain has hung the trees with tears
I want you near to kill my fears
To help me to leave all my blues behind
But standing in your heart is where
I want to be and long to be
Oh but I may as well try and catch the wind
****************
A Decade
When you came, you were like rich wine and honey
And the taste of you burnt my mouth with sweetness
Now you are like morning bread smooth and pleasant
I hardly taste you at all for I know your savor
But I am completely nourished
Today there is sunlight caressing the dew
Today clouds go chasing all over the blue
Today echo answers the cry of the dove
Today there is laughter and singing and love
That is the true season of love
When we believe that we alone
Can love, that no one could ever
Have love so before us and
That no one will love in the
Same way after us
****************
Imagine
Imagine tears
A smile wide and a year deep
Imagine a chain of sorrow
Linking past with present
Present with future
Imagine no one to turn to
Imagine a never ending search for love
And a God that may not be
Imagine all the wonderment and confusion
Imagine me
************
Little girl grown
Paining
Like a woman
Free but alone
Painting
Her desires
On a whim
Detached
From her past
The future is dim
Unattached
And uninspired
Rusty wagon wheel
By the creek
Gazing and dazed
To feel
So weak
So young
And so tired
*****
If loneliness were just my little rag doll
And understanding went as far as
Button eyes can see
Then maybe I’ld accept my solitude
And like a little raggedy head
I’d smile on childishly
But thoughts that fill my head
Are not of cotton
Beneath my skin
I’m as real as I can be
******
I know you’re gone, but in a way you still
Rest by my side. For since that day we kissed,
Like passing clouds, I’ve held you near
To chill the fiery fires and hush the deathly hiss
I cannot bear to hear
The love that grew enlightened me
Caressed and smooth my tear streaked eyes
And stroked my cheek in kindness
You are all I’ve loved in happiness
And years will not forget your vision through the haze
Like life itself the struggle has been long within me
Wanting more than just past days gone by
But someday when another song of joy rings clear
I’ll thrill to our last touch remembering and loving you so much
************
You're strong and young
The world is yours
Your heart is free
But I'm not so
I can't excape
My destiny
To grow attached
To learn to care
But that's just me
And I want you
More than any
Rhyme could ever say
In open woods
you never fear
Which path to take
The world intrudes
I seek confinement
Like the lake
I know my boundaries
Where to deep
And when to wake
And I need you
More than any
Rhyme could ever say
By being you
You've shown me how
To really see
My heart and mind
Now love and think
In harmony
I've peace of mind
But still my love
Beats frantically
And I love you
More than any
Rhyme could ever say
********
I sought your wisdom, strength and warmth in hopes
That someday soon the mysteries would cease
To strike a fearful note, constraining ropes
Would form a ladder out of now to peace of mind
But in my search I found that I was looking through a mirror
All I hold to be my pain is me
In search of whys that have no answers
Living things are lovely things
And lovely things must die
Clouds are not the cheeks of angel you know they're only clouds
Friendly sometimes but you can never be sure
If I hand longer arms
I'd push the clouds away or make them hang above the water came
where else
But I'm just a man who needs and wants
Mostly things he'll never have
Looking for that thing that's hardest to find
I've been going a long time now
Along the way I've learned some things
You have to make the good times yourself
Take the little times and make them into big times
And save the times are all right
For the ones that aren't so good
I've never been able to push the clouds away myself help me
***************************************************************
I have loved you in so many ways in crowds or all alone
When you were away and I imagine others watching you in the street
or worse you in other people’s arms
I have seen the march of beach birds and loved you
I have lent myself to summer sun and loved you and seeing naked trees
Raising my collar to the wind and counting minutes till chartered hours were there I have loved you
The questions were asked the answers learned at love’s expense I’ve promised myself
I will not ask where you have been tonight I’ll only say hello and hope
I know a tree beyond the bend ahead that drags its branches in the water beneath it there is yellow grass and colored stones
If you can shake your new friends from your mind we’ll go down along the water’s edge and give ourselves another chance
Think about the squirrels darting in the fallen leaves, consider the changing clouds, the crickets are still singing in the grass think of how they’ll sound when Christmas comes again
This is daylight turn and face me face-to-face we’ll go naked in the afternoon and then you’ll see I’m only me were you expecting something more
I taste like you remember because I’ve been with you so long because we are each other as we are ourself all I have to fight is what I’ve been for you before
All the taxi horns have sounded their retreat the wind is down to nothing but a whisper in the street
Now as you lie sleeping I’ll take a moment just to tell you all the things I never sway when you’re awake
Thank you for the raspberries this morning and thank you for orange marmalade and last night let me say when you might have gone away thank you very much because you stayed
Thank you for the sun you brought this morning even though the sky was full of clouds and thank you for the way you held me yesterday and steered me through the noisy Paris crowds
I can’t look ahead to the future and I’m too old to run home to the past so now while you sleep on beside me I’ll do what I can to make this moment last
Thank you for another special morning and thank you for an even better day and thank you in advance if there’s even half a chance you’ll stay one more morning one more day
******************************8
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